3 Things I Learned From Boston Marathon Weekend
Plus UP TO SPEED Book Tour schedule!
Let’s keep this intro short and sweet. Last weekend, I was in Boston for the Boston Marathon. It was the first time I was really there for the marathon, participating in the weekend’s events and spectating the marathon.
It’s definitely a weekend that will stick with me and I wanted to share some things I learned.
Everyone has imposter syndrome
I do a really good job of celebrating other people and hyping up their success, but I tend to put myself down and not take credit for my work and accomplishments. Chalk it up to a combination of being a woman and being of Chinese heritage but I don’t want to come off as braggy or ambitious. Frankly, I often don’t think my work is a big deal.
During my prep call with Suzanne, who moderated the author panel in Boston, I told her that I didn’t feel like I belonged on the stage with the likes of Lauren Fleshman, Kara Goucher, and Alison Mariella Désir. THEY were athletes and change-makers, not me. I knew that the vast majority of the people in the audience would be in attendance to hear them speak. I’m just a journalist and I just hoped I didn’t make a fool out of myself.
But yesterday, I listened to Kara and Chris McClung recap Boston Marathon weekend on Chris’ podcast Running Rogue.
When talking about the panel, Kara said that she felt like the JV player who got called up to play with the varsity players. She said that Lauren, Alison, and I are change-makers. This coming from a woman who not only is a 2x Olympian and world championship medalist, but someone who has risked so much of herself to change the sport of running so that it’s better for future generations.
It was a good reminder that we all suffer from imposter syndrome. That we all have a hard time measuring the gap between perception and reality. That we are all just trying to do our best out in the world.
Connections
The author panel wasn’t the only place I felt like an imposter. I’ve written before how I don’t feel like a “real runner” and how that anxiety comes out to play when I’m at running events. I feel like an outsider. On top of that, I much prefer one-on-one conversations to big gatherings because I’d rather let myself get lost in the crowd than fight to be heard. Plus, I’m always worried about whether people will like me or find me interesting. All in all, I 100% feel like a fish out of water.
But because I’m a glutton for punishment—or maybe because my subconscious knew I needed this weekend—I scheduled dinners and meet-ups to fill my free time. It was more social activity than the last three months combined. It was definitely my own type of marathon!
Adult friendships are hard, especially in the age of social media where it can so easily feel like you “know” someone and are friends but in reality, they’re acquaintances at best.
So this weekend? It was a really special chance to connect with an incredible group of humans, some who’ve I’ve known for years and some who I just met. Whether it was a chat after the panel or conversation over dinner or extended one-on-one time, I’m so glad I forced myself to step out of my comfort zone.
We still have so much work to do to make sports like running more inclusive
On the train home from Boston Monday afternoon, my high from the weekend quickly took a turn when I started seeing videos and photos of what happened at Mile 21. I’m sure most of you know what happened but in short, a cheer station organized by PIONEERS Run Crew and TrailblazHers Run Co. was overpoliced for doing what all cheer stations do at races: hype up runners, offer support and high 5s, and be loud. (Just look at the JOY in these pictures of runners and the cheer station.)
The only difference was that the members of these two groups are primarily Black and Brown folks and this happened in the predominantly white town of Newton. (Listen to this episode of Rambling Runner for more.)
Look, I’m going to say this off the bat—yes, spectators shouldn’t be on the course. Yes, spectators shouldn’t impede runners. But that’s besides the point in this case.
What happened at the Mile 21 cheer station happens at EVERY race. It happened all along the course and within a half mile/mile from where this group was. Yet I have never seen police essentially barricading spectators with their bikes or flanking them from behind.
The Boston Athletic Association, which puts on the Boston Marathon, says that it is committed to racial justice, that everyone should be able to promote their health and fitness through running without fear or discrimination. But how can you say that you’re inclusive when this is the reality of what people experience on the streets when they come out to cheer?
Even outside of this incident, as I watched the race from mile 25, I was struck by how few runners of color there were in the field. It was shocking. It was just a stark contrast to what I see during the NYC marathon, which I watch every year (and where, every year, I push past the flimsy rope the police try to set up to us off the streets). NYRR has its own issues but the field is palpably more diverse.
What I hope is that this incident opens people’s eyes to the differences in lived experiences of others not like ourselves. I think that Stef Flippin said it best.
If you find yourself saying “but what about…” and continuously playing devil’s advocate, I implore you to ask yourself why - and do you do this consistently among groups? There’s a difference between examining the entire situation, getting all the sides/facts vs. always undermining and questioning the lived experience of others.
Book Events!
Book launch is 3 weeks away! GAH! I don’t want to clog up the newsletter with too much book promo but I also want you to know about upcoming events. Please come help celebrate the release of UP TO SPEED!
May 16, NY, NY: Official Launch Day! 6pm at Athleta Flatiron, 126 Fifth Avenue. Advanced registration is required.
May 19, San Francisco, CA: 7pm at Books, Inc. Laurel Village. I’ll be in conversation with Dana Giordano, former professional middle distance runner who hosts the podcast and writes the newsletter called More Than Running with Dana Giordano.
June 5, Brooklyn, NY: Brooklyn Running Company, 480 Bergen Street, Time TBD. This will be a panel discussion. More coming soon!
June 13, Boston, MA: 7pm at Porter Square Books: Boston Edition, 50 Liberty Drive. I’ll be in conversation with Mary Cain, founder of Atalanta NYC, 2014 World Junior Champion in the 3000m, and champion for gender equity and well-being in sport.
What I’m Reading
Just two reading recommendations:
Why reports of period weirdness were ignored (The Washington Post): This op-ed from Kate Clancy (who just released a great book called PERIOD: The Real Story of Menstruation) talks about how the current framework of scientific research, by its nature, overlooks things that don’t fit into that dominant narrative. She writes: “I am tired of menstruating people being questioned, mistrusted or ignored when they report their lived experiences.”
Taylor Swift is sending a powerful message to women on the Eras Tour (CNN): Speaking of female ambition and imposter syndrome, this piece from Emily Halnon is so relatable.
It was a pleasure to watch them play from
on the joy and power of watching women's sports.
So many stories about women (especially queer women and trans women) are stories of loss — loss of bodily autonomy, loss of life, loss of rights. Drag shows are being outlawed. Trans girls are not allowed to compete in their sports under their gender identity. Reproductive rights are being stripped. What a joy it is to watch a different story, one where women win. One where they are cocky, confident, celebrated, and full of joy.
Thanks for being here. More soon.
Christine
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Really love this post. Thanks for the frank conversation on all things Boston. Excited for your book!!