10 Things

Because sometimes it’s easier to think in lists

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Before we get into today’s newsletter, I just wanted to say thank you—for stopping by, for reading, for subscribing. It means a lot to have you here!

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I have this long-standing group email exchange with some women that I met on a writing retreat seven years ago. It started off as a loose writing group. We had a rotating schedule and when it was your day, you’d send a writing prompt to the group. Inevitably, people started sending life updates along with their prompts and more often than not, these exchanges bloomed into really incredible conversations.

I don’t know how to describe it but this email group became one place where we could speak frankly about what was going on in our lives and hold space for each other in whatever way we each needed. I also loved that it was an email versus a text thread because it felt like a gift whenever a message would appear in my inbox. There wasn’t the rush to read or respond. I could take my time with it.

But sometimes, the thread would go quiet. Then, someone would pop in with a quick bulleted list and we’d each respond in turn with our own lists. For some reason, it was easier to communicate in list form, especially when things were busy and overwhelming. I wasn’t as precious about my words.

So, here I am sharing a list with you.

It’s a mix of random thoughts and things that make me happy right now, in no particular order. Because if I’m being honest, I’ve very much been white knuckling my way through this past month (months?) and my brain can’t process more than small chunks of information at this point.

2023 was great in many ways but it also hard on many fronts too. 2024 has been hard in different ways. I knew I wanted to do things differently this year but it hasn’t always been easy. Change never is. But I’m doing my best to focus on the things that fill me up rather than deplete me, to protect my space and mind, to minimize busyness and stress. I know there are so many folks out there trying to do the same and I see you.

1. Writing

At the beginning of December, I set a goal to finish the fiction project I’ve been noodling with for the last two years. (Finally. Finally!) No more futzing around. No more tinkering with already written scenes. Just get to THE END. I’ve made good, solid progress and it feels good.

It’s so easy to get burnt out from creative work and it’s been a long time since I felt this excited and joyful about writing. And I realize that it’s in part because this writing is just for me and no one else. I’m writing it because I want to write it, not because I have to for my job or because I’m being paid for it or because there's a market for it. Sure, it would be nice to think that maybe it would be published one day but I also know how hard it is to sell a book (and then to sell a book to readers) and that’s not my end goal.

2. The end of an Era

When the Eras Tour started, I watched some livestreams but never the full concert. As the tour went on, I still didn’t watch the full concert. I think that there was a part of me that held out hope that somehow I would get to see her live. But then it was down to her final shows in Vancouver. I watched the grainy video of her last concert along with so many others. It was special to watch it in community in a way that I almost didn’t want to believe.

But aside from the Taylor of it all, this piece from Jessica Joyce (whose books you should read!) about the end of the Eras Tour really hit in an unexpected way.

And I think it hit me when she started singing “There’s glitter on the floor after the party/girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby”—that maybe there’s a sweetness to sticking around and watching it all end. That maybe it crystallizes an era in a way that sneaking out the back door before the confetti has fallen doesn’t allow. That, in fact, maybe getting to say goodbye is a gift, even when it hurts. There have been so many eras of my own life that have passed by without acknowledgement, without the opportunity to memorialize it out loud with the people who shared it with me, and now they’re fuzzy around the edges because I didn’t want to sit in the realization that nothing is really meant to last forever. That our lives are made up of eras that begin and end, and the only enduring thing about it all is that you start over on repeat, whether it’s at midnight on New Year’s Day or, you know, on a random Tuesday in June.

3. Song Exploder

I’m endlessly curious about how music gets made and how songs are written. Like you just come up with riffs and chords and stuff? Which is why I love the podcast Song Exploder because they breakdown songs and tell you how they were made. As I’ve been writing fiction, I’ve found it helpful to think about creativity in other forms.

I’ve been on a little Gracie Abrams kick after listening to her open for Taylor’s last concert so it was fun to hear the behind-the-scenes of her song “I Love You, I’m Sorry.” I love this line: I'll be on a boat, you're on a plane/Going somewhere, same.

4. Posting less

When everyone migrated over to Bluesky after the election, I got caught up in the excitement. I think that there was a part of me that was hoping to recapture the connections and community from Old Twitter and the OG blogging days. And then I started posting and I realized that…I was kind of over it? I wasn’t really sure why I was posting and what I was hoping to get out of it except for some vague notion of “maintaining a platform.”

There’s an exhaustion to it all, which Anne Helen Petersen captures in this piece so much better than I ever could. It’s the same with creative work, the burnout that comes when the performative aspects of it prevail over everything else.

5. Colleagues

My current job is fully remote but I travel to campus a handful of times a year. Last week, I was on campus for a team meeting and our department’s holiday party. You guys, after working freelance for the almost 15 years, it is a joy to have work colleagues again. People to bounce ideas off of and to commiserate with. I know that it probably doesn’t hurt that I’m not in the office every day and am not exposed to office politics but it is really nice to work with a team.

6. Nikki Giovanni poetry

I wasn’t super familiar with the poet, writer, and activist Nikki Giovanni but after I heard the news that she had died, I started reading her work. This poem in particular—the way it captures the essence of friendship—has stuck with me, maybe because of the season of life I’m currently in.

7. No pain

My hamstring doesn’t hurt: Not going to say more about this because I don’t want to jinx it!

8. Cozy sweater

For years, I’ve been haunted by the Jenni Kayne oversized cardigan (IYKYK). The ads followed me around on social media. I think I even dreamed about it. While I didn’t buy that particular sweater, I did get a dupe from Quince on Black Friday and am in love. It’s soft, warm, and cozy.

9. Library books

I’ve been putting a lot of books on hold at my local library, mostly new releases, which usually means there’s a healthy wait for the book and I forget all about it. When I get the notification that the book is ready to be picked up, it’s like a gift from my past self to my present self. It also takes pressure off of deciding what book to read next. Hooray for less decision making!

10. Reader notes

I will never get over the fact that people willingly buy/borrow and read my book (which, btw makes a great present if you’re looking for a last minute gift!). Recently, I’ve received a couple of sweet notes from readers to say how much they enjoyed it or that they’ve recommended it to friends and family. Writing and publishing a book can be a rollercoaster and kind gestures like this mean so much. It reminds me that it was worth it. (And this isn’t a ploy for compliments!)

Thanks for being here. The holiday season can feel like one big blur and a rush to get to the end of the year. I hope that you can notice some random good things in life too.

Christine