Third time’s the charm

Thoughts on injury plus end-of-September reads

DC and Maryland friends! I’ll be in town for a book event with Julie Sapper and Lisa Levin of Run Farther & Faster next month. I hope you can join us!

Date and time: Sunday, Oct. 22 at 10:30am

Where: Bender JCC of Greater Washington, 6125 Montrose Road, Rockville, MD

Register here!

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Photo by Alexander Wark Feeney on Unsplash

I was late for dinner.

Traffic was backed up around the convention center. My Uber hadn’t moved in several minutes. Since I was only a couple of blocks from my destination, I jumped out of the car and made my way through the crowds. When I spotted a gap in traffic, I did what any New Yorker would do—I jaywalked.

Except that I tried to run across the street with a torn ACL and my knee immediately did not like it. When I planted my left foot, everything above my knee seemed to ricochet left and right, like my thigh bone was sliding across my knee joint. I hopped right leg and crumpled into a ball on the street.

As luck would have it, I happened to collapse across the street from a fire station and since it was Boston Marathon weekend, several of the firemen were out on the street watching the crowd—and saw me fall. They came over to check on me. In another world, this would have been some sort of rom-com meet cute but I just wanted to melt into the pavement and die of embarrassment.

Since injuring my knee in February, I’ve spent the last 6-7 months trying to avoid surgery. But it’s been one step forward and two steps back. After Boston, I started to rebuild my strength only to have my knee buckle a second time in June. I had to start from scratch again and that’s when I knew—I needed to have knee surgery.

5:30am check-in time is sooooooo early.

On Friday, I had my ACL and medial meniscus repaired.

Technically, it’s my third knee surgery but my first on left knee. (In college, I tore my ACL in my right knee; I re-tore it 15 years later.) Still, I hope that this is my third and last knee surgery. I joked with my surgeon that my next surgery should be free.

Whenever someone asked me how I felt about it all, I shrugged and usually responded with something along the lines of, “It’s fine” or “It is what it is.” Which it is in the sense that I’ve been through this before and I know what to expect and that I need to get this done. I’m not ready to give up skiing. I don’t want to live with the uncertainty of my knee buckling on me at random moments. I want to be active, especially with my kids.

Because of the timing of my injury and my book launch, I didn’t have surgery this spring. It’s been a long road to get to this point and I’m impatient to get to the other side. If I’m being honest, my mood was terrible the days leading up to surgery. I snapped at my husband and my family.

It made me realize that I was feeling something akin to grief. So often, we treat injuries as something to deal with and to get through. We don’t leave room for the emotions that can accompany it.

My kids’ squishmallows keeping me company. My emotional support animals.

The first few days have been rough. I knew they would be. My surgeon told me they would be because I was using a patellar tendon graft this time. But still, it hurts. I’ve been resting but also getting restless.

I have a couple of newsletters in the works but in the meantime, I have a bunch of links for you because I’ve read some really good stuff lately and I want to share them with you. And honestly, sharing good stories is my love language.

Links Links Links

• Why is publishing making authors so sick? This is so good.

• Anne Helen Petersen
  ‘s deep dives are some of my favorite things to read and this intersection of college admissions, Greek life, and recruitment strategies was fascinating (especially as a parent of a high school junior).

• I think about this essay from AHP a lot too.

• When we shutter the sports section of a major newspaper, we lose more than just box scores and stats.

• Listening to Taylor Swift in prison.

• The fight for Afghan women’s soccer team and their right to play.

• God, I miss running a lot right now.

  Steph Creaturo
  ’s list sums up much of what running means to me, more than just the sweat and endorphins.

• An apartment that’s “a pinch in time,” bringing together two timelines—the present day and seven years in the past. I was really skeptical about this book but it’s tender, whimsical, funny, and sweet and the portrayal of grief is so nuanced. It brought out all the big feelings and might be one of my favorite books I’ve read this year.

Thanks for being here. More soon.

Christine